Throughout my middle and high school years, I never really fit in with the majority. It's not that I wasn't known amongst my peers, but I never seemed to be the one that they wanted to hang around with. I knew at the time that there were a lot of things they liked that I would not do. For one, I did not gossip. Gossip was a major percentage of the conversation at school and I wasn’t going to participate in that to fit in with anybody. Besides, I'd seen what the results of those conversations were and I could do without all that drama. If I wanted drama I'd watch the soaps on TV! Still, being a teen, I felt a bit hurt; rejected would be the more appropriate description. Everyone wants a good friend or set of friends at school. There were other factors that played into it besides me not wanting to gossip. I wanted to fit in with my peers very much at the time, yet there was always restraint. I never went too far out there to be anyone's friend. If it was going to get me in some major trouble I avoided it. I didn't want to be anybody's friend that bad and I thank God for that.



This seemed to be a pattern from sixth through tenth grade. My junior and senior years were a lot better (granted I was at a different high school by that time), but things still weren't exactly as one would want their social life to be. It wasn't until I was about 23 years old that I figured it out. I had watched my present pastor (at the time he wasn’t yet my pastor) on the internet and I wrote down something that he'd said. At the time I really didn't know why I wrote it down because it really didn't strike a nerve with me then. Approximately a week later, I was having my morning meditation/quiet time. I was reflecting on my prior years and wondering why I had never really fit in. (Of course by this time my social life had improved massively. Largely because I took the time to date myself and when I got into me, the right people started being added to my life.) As I was reflecting on those things, I discerned inside my spirit to go back and read the statement I had wrote down from Sunday. I kept my notebook next to me at all times whenever I meditated, so the answer was right there with me the entire time. When I opened my notebook to the page I was looking for, it read, "You were not called to fit the mold; you were called to break the mold!" In that moment everything began to come into perspective.



No princess should be trying to fit into any mold other than her own. I have never observed anyone in the history of kings and queens who tried to "fit in" with the people in their outer courts and still had the people's respect. It is one thing to try to relate to other people, but to try and emulate other people is an entirely different thing. The people outside of the palace want to know what's going on inside the palace; that's why it's gated and secured with guards. Everyone isn't supposed to be able to enter your inner courts no matter how curious they are. That is why we discussed choosing your circle in the previous chapter.



Look back and think about what the conditions of your social life have been. Have people tended to gravitate towards you, away from you, or just tolerated you? If people tend to gravitate towards you, that's probably a good thing. I'm not talking about people bowing down, but just generally like to be around you. If you're not being used for something you have and people just genuinely want to be in your company, you are more than likely not trying to "fit in" to anyone else's image. If people do not tend to want to be around you, ask yourself why that might be. If you find that you're negative about a lot of things, that's probably the reason why. Being negative doesn't necessarily mean that you speak negatively to other people. If you have a negative image of yourself, other people can pick up on that. Happy people do not want to hang around negativity. However, if you aren't negative and you really are a nice person, it may be that you need to break the mold and make not fitting in look good. In the social arena, trying too hard is a turn off; just be yourself. If people simply tolerate you, you need to break away from the mold as well. Never make a habit of keeping social companionship with people who simply tolerate you; there isn't anything simple about you!



Let's back up to that statement, "Break the mold and make not fitting in look good." How do you do that? You break the mold by busting out of everything that is not you and taking on everything that has been uniquely designed and custom fitted for you. You cannot successfully be anyone or anything that you are not, so stop trying to be. There isn't anyone on the face of God's green earth that can be you better than you can; not past, present, nor future. The fabric you were cut from is one that will never be produced again, so show the world the beauty of it. Be the best at being yourself and you will make not fitting the mold look good. Who wants to be a replica of ten other people? Out of the ten, nine are a copycat of the one. The first one fit themselves into their own mold and then nine dieted their own image to fit the first one's image. I must state, however, that there are some people who try so hard to not be like anyone else that they actually miss being themselves. Don't try so hard to fit in or not fit in; just fit your own skin. Unless you're playing a part in a movie, trying to be like someone else is not admirable. If you say you want to be successful like a certain person or accomplish what someone else has in the perspective of a mentor, that's cool. Mentorship is a wonderful thing to have and it is highly recommended by many successful people. King Solomon even made reference to it in Proverbs 11:14 and 15:22. Even in being guided by a mentor, let them help shape you into who you are; not who they are.



Not fitting in or fitting the mold doesn't mean that you shouldn't talk to people who do not act like you do. The point is not to have other people fawning over you; it is simply about not trying to be like anyone else. Discover your own identity and work it, girl! As we talked about in the very beginning of this book, you were uniquely and strategically fashioned together; why would you want to be anything less than that? Be a winner and the only way to win is to win at being you!



~Miss Jennipher~

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