Did you ever notice that the Bible never said “he who makes a woman his wife finds a good thing?” It says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” I have recently been enlightened that if a woman desires to become a man’s wife, she must first be a wife. If you notice in Proverbs 31:10, the Word says, “Who can find a virtuous woman (a wife of valour)? For her worth is far above rubies.” (KJV) No matter what translation I read this verse in they all refer to finding a wife.

Many women love to refer to themselves as a Proverbs 31 woman, but I wonder if they ever took the time to read the entire chapter. Somehow I think many of them picked out a few popular verses from this chapter and ran with it. This virtuous woman (or wife) played several different roles. She was a loyal and faithful woman (vs. 11). She had a good/pure heart (vs.12), she was a hard worker and diligent in her business (vs. 13-19), she was a business woman with a business mind; she knew how to and understood investments (vs.16), she was compassionate to those less fortunate (vs. 20), she wore fine clothing that she designed herself (vs. 21-22). The virtuous wife did not settle. She knew her worth and married a man who was honored and honored her (vs. 23). This woman understood trade and value (vs. 24). She was a woman of strength and she walked in integrity (vs. 25). The virtuous woman is a woman of wisdom and speaks kind words. She doesn’t bother with doing insignificant things (vs. 26-27). She knows how to nurture her children and build up her husband accordingly (vs.28-29). The virtuous wife has a heart for God and in that she is blessed. Everything she puts her hands to is of a good report (vs. 30-31).

This woman did not become all these things when her husband put a ring on her finger. She did not instantly convert into these characteristics. This is a process and this process began well before she became a married woman. In many countries outside of the U.S., girls begin being groomed from childhood on how to be a wife. Girls are supposed to be raised up with a certain integrity so that when they become of age, she will be suitable as a wife and worthy to be chosen. I don’t know what is happening in America. Somehow the fantasy land value has kicked in and the wedding is more important that the marriage. Likewise, wearing the title “wife” has become more desirable that actually being a wife.

If a woman desires to be a wife she should seek God on teaching her how to do that; especially if she did not have good examples growing up. Even if we have had good examples growing up or did receive that grooming, we should still observe other Godly married couples. Every woman needs an experienced woman to mentor her. Even Paul stated to Titus that the mature women should teach the younger women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home…. (See Titus 2:3-5). That’s another thing we should ask God for if we don’t have one: the proper mentors. It’s a good thing to desire to become a man’s wife, but if that is our heart’s desire then we should already begin behaving as a wife (character wise, not sexually.) I’ve never met a business man or woman who wanted to be the CEO of a multi-million dollar company without first going through process and researching the business they wanted to be in. Be a wife FIRST!



~Miss Jennipher~

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